Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
