I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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