do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
