Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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