i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize