When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
