Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
