Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
