i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
