We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
