That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
