I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
