So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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