i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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