I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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