When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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