you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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