If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
