party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
