my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
