today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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