Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
