I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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