i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I FOUND THE LEGS
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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