she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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