I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
