You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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