Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What a dumb baby whore.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
