Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
