And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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