:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
