Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
