just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
