Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need help removing her.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
