Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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