hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize