Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
