All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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