my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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