I'm sorry my penis didn't work
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
