why didn't you poke me back
look no pants
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
