She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
