My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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