okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
