took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
