I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
