I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
