i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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