Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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