Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
