rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
