I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
