You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is Oprah even human
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
