if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
