I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
