dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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