sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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