I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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