I look better un-naked...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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