i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
