Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
