Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize