Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
How external is "for external use only"?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
