butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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