If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Damn victory sex feels great
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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