If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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