It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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