I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
