fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
