I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
