At least make sure they are 18
Why
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
