you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so explain again why im purple
no
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
