so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize