Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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