if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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